Amy ~

Upon your inception to this life's dream, the Gods breathed you unto this Earth to bring a higher vibration of love to those of your influence; then you were kissed with Their Holy Gift of your love's culmination, your ascension to the very discovery and acceptance of love that you have for your own true self, and with such irrefutability that your very being defies the self-imposed limitations of your previously accepted practices, without return. In my perception through the crystal lenses and current degree of sight perfection, you are the Jewel Face that expresses a mind and soul embodied with that highest potential of love, the pure essence of kindness, a "mother" prototype for this new age of enlightenment during which awakenings are accelerating, and a call for Mothers like you is essential. Now, upon the trailing cusp of your fiftieth trip around our star, I speak to you in celebration of your Being, in celebration of your Gifts to open, and in celebration of the blessings bestowed upon me through having come to know you in such capacity... I celebrate by sharing with You, who are reading these words, a banquet of my own revelation and my sentient being.

Nearly one week has flashed since your birthday drive to your ritual Maine retreat. My thoughts have been with you, each time your kayak slips through the apparition of clear edge of shadow from shoreline trees and sun, upon that sound of leaves rustling as you pull the sheet over you as you drift off to sleep in the cooling night of a waning summer. I am there with You in breath, between the beat of your genuineness of heart, and between the furrowing of your expression when faced with distinguishing spurious from truth. Here, I honor our trinity connection - the mindful Intention whose Embodiment in this plane has allowed us to share, to communicate, to express, breath, and through limb and digit ... to touch with our temple machines from which we reveal our Spirits, one to the other through the energy forms cast from our soul aura, the extended neurological system granted us in this reverie, and that serves to persist our Intention in the smallest of eddies and carry us through each grand cycle of embodiment. Whenever you feel lonely, you can call on me to wake you. Time can be an illusion if we choose to open the doors of oneness, to infinite peace and wisdom. I am here. Do you feel me?

Last night (Tuesday), I went for a run toward the end of the twilight hour. Gliding through the growing darkness, and like other times before, I practiced feeling the life forces of trees slipping past, my fingers reaching out to tap their strong energy fields, allowing myself to feel the whispers course through my whole body. Lifting the charge of flowing energies up to my head like the pilot light of a gas oven to fire I seated a crown around my head, there becoming a larger opening than even my hands had been for receiving energy, and now as a beacon for offering my human messages, to connect through me, a conduit of peace, of trust, of friendliness, of ally for goodwill toward preservation of life. Dispelled was any fear of loss of sight in darkness and of what animal may lunge from the edge of the woods. The winds picked-up as if the very aspiration of the trees were in symphony, like a paddlewheel for directing the winds to carry their own messages, to carry-out some will of the trees? Or just the forerunners of Katrina's final breaths to be felt last night and later today while I was trying to dry my wash on the line? I enjoyed the dark, the quiet roads, the breezes, the smells, my body.
After returning home from my seven-mile jog, I soon began eating. I had not eaten so much the day before and I was starved. Then the intercom phone rang whereupon answering I heard my brother's most jovial voice, "Hey, would you like to come over for a beer?!" Said like that with such masterful art of persuasion, I reflexively said "Sure!" Within minutes, I was talking with Alex on the porch about many things: How much he liked the rogue, hooligan Dennis turned more loving and spiritual. At one point, he went on to tell me how much he owes his past inspiration for exploring, flirting with danger, and how much he dedicates his current interests and working with the computer to the many times I roped him into helping me with the computer as a kid, and in so many words telling me that I served him as a much stronger role model than I have been giving myself credit. Two years ago, my own self image had been lamenting some shortcoming for not being stronger in those strained years. Had I been more cognitive of the dynamics at play with our parents and had been more of a nurturing figure for him, perhaps we would not have suffered so much. We talked and talked about many other things, including computer technology, my IC Care sagas, but with increasing zeal over the father abandonment issues he'd struggled with, the significance of parents who stay together miserably to see the kids through to college versus those who separate and break the old models.

Alex said, although there had been difficulties in the beginning, that he really likes Richard now to which I suggested the possible benefits that can come from marital separation where we can end-up with extended family members that better serve to influence our perspectives, like Diana's Mike or your role in my life with the girls, for instance. Going on to add that as unorthodox as it may seem compared to the old "until death do we part" model, that this relationship chaos is part of the renaissance in moving today's children to the next level of enlightenment and self-preservation in early life because of a wider variety of role-model influences that either better serve to reflect the children and/or strengthen the child's own ability to reflect themselves from an earlier age. Alex paused, hanging in the screen door on his way in to grab a third beer for my carbohydrate hungry body, as he contemplated this for several minutes. I told him that his father, Jim, did not have the tools or freedom within the domain of Nancy's strong control and will over everything to even explore the depths of his own creativity to be a father, even if he had the potential.

Here I continued to suggest that we cannot expect our elders to see the new model for the stage of enlightenment presented by our time. We are on the wave of radical acceleration, where most of our parents are stuck with the old model, unable to heal, unable to follow and may never even so much as hear the crashing thunder of the waves of the next decade. Our predecessors have, however, been instrumental in confronting us with lessons, forces in opposition to our innate understandings in a new world that empowers us to express our truths of being and oneness, and that those truths are more important than complicating this existence opportunity with objects of material and ego conditioning. In most cases, our mothers and fathers, do not posses the tools to bridge the gap.

During my retreat in Sedona, I was imparted with a very important concept, a revelation in processing my childhood emotions: That our parents are not our divine Mother and Father. From there comes destruction of the walls of anger, our own imprisonment about who we are and the reflections that we did not receive from our parents; the numbness to our self-loss can turn to self recognition. Great forgiveness follows. One bearing such forgiveness carries also a wish for the internal peace of the forgiven. This wish however is bi-directional as it is not only a wish for freedom of the forgiven, but it is actually a gift of freedom that returns to the bearer in the form of a great lightness of being and ripples out much farther in our limited view of reality - ancestral healing of those living here and those who had lived here - past life healing? New opportunities offered crystal children through the breakdown, extension and healing of family during this initial period of awakening and forgiveness, and relinquishing of ego desires to control, restrain or destroy?

Many of your simplest statements echo in my mind with profundity. Your words have been very influential in developing my understanding of you, and also in the refining of my own self-image. I want to thank you and invite you to continue to "enjoy watching me struggle", whether on the piano and in every other way. I have allowed myself to feel your true appreciation of me; and because of your influences, I have begun enjoying my own struggles, too. This is a very important point that I hope you absorb as fully as I now know it. A true work of art is never really "finished" especially as it always has something new to be seen through the eye of the next beholder.

No longer worried or afraid of loss, I am inspired to be and to create. I wanted to tell you about my finally "getting" those frustratingly simple passages of playfulness in the Mozart Sonata I have been working-on. After returning at midnight to my apartment, having finished a fourth beer over at Alex's, and surprisingly not feeling the least bit inebriated, I set-down at the piano until 3 in the morning. I was hot. Everything happened with such attitude and emotion that I knew to be the composers' intent. It was a performance lesson where I touched the artist and felt fully why I have been so persistent in my struggles. I have been missing your attendance of my piano playing and hope you will come visit me when you come back, and tell me of your trip.

Early tomorrow morning, the first of September, I am driving to Lancaster to get my mail at the PO which probably includes a soon to be delinquent bill or two as I have not checked my mail in over a week! While I am there, I will be mailing this to you Priority. I apologize for its typewritten format . . . I have a few other things to share with you when you return!

Kisses with love, your Dennis, your Nijinsky.

When we first met, you may recall my great zeal in spilling-out excerpts from some of my recent years' most powerful transformational experiences? Two years ago, I lived on the cusp of what seemed to me like seconds, minutes, and even decades before and after (both at the same time) with ongoing fluidity of each passing second of the present. Everything I looked at was perceived with incredible geometric patterns that seemed innately familiar to me. I was suspended in a déjà vu, both for events that happened and that were to happen. But these were only certain components, or aspects (siddhis?), of my whole enlightenment. Ongoing "vision" of auras surrounded clearly visible matter and also energy forms of things that would have not otherwise been visible. A "crown" doughnut energy bloomed around my head that, in earthly dimension, reached initially from 10 feet and that grew up to 100 feet or more in diameter through floor and ceiling of any surrounding. Spirits were clear. Angels were "there" in the fog of the crown's periphery. I could "influence" my surroundings. In sleep I would have certain contacts, including twice an oracle where all knowledge was simply at my asking, and I would speak from there and carry my flow of words without border into wakefulness to continue those connections. Unconditional love waffling with overwhelming fear of not knowing what to do. Please pardon these fragmented sentences itemizing that which deserve chapters.

These states of combined aspects would last, unending, for days at a time over a period of six months of greatest intensity. It was in this state of enlightenment that I met Amy, and upon her arrival in my home and upon releasing Cherie, my enlightenment collapsed. Recently, over the last three months, however my perceptions have been returning, but as glimpses of the wholeness of "being" indelibly remembered. Today, now, I recognize that each glimpse and some reaching sustained experience has come with my exercise of discipline, whether feeling Mozart, or passing the whispers of the trees through my fingers and directing energy course to actually lift a crown into place like the pilot light of an oven, or the words that flow from my mind to speak these very words to you now, in trust of your understanding. You represent a main figure in guiding my exercise of disciplines that will help lead to reconnecting these profound capabilities of my being's form into maturity and higher degree of understanding; these that I remember and recognize, that I had been so afraid to lose sight-of, did not know how to develop, and for which I had "asked" for more teachers.

With that, I am inclined to share with you some of my newest awareness, prioritizing that which I perceive as having most direct connection with our work together, meanwhile recognizing that immediate detection of my own does not constitute grounds for your immediate attention for interpretation. I trust your leadership, and I am no longer stunted by fears of either loss or absence of my sentient control for what I think "should" happen next.
So, finally, I briefly share a particular discovery from this last Tuesday's class with Doe. As she instructed us to rock backward during lunge, there was an aspect of my distinct awareness of certain geometric shapes in the dome space below my body. The shapes seemed a perception of my body's energy in calm awareness, but were so clear that I could see them with my own eyes: a circumscribed three-dimensional pyramid whose point came to my navel.

Somewhere I have read mention before of shapes to "imagine" with breath and position, and now wish to know more. Perhaps you can help me understand, or even give it a name?